Thursday, November 10

An Open Letter To Donald Trump


Dear Mr. President-elect,

You seem to have missed some key lessons that even the average high school student is relatively clear on (I guess a private school education isn't what it used to be). Allow me to provide you with some information that will be useful to you as "leader of the free world".


1. You cannot make sexual contact with another person without their permission. The fact that you are famous gives you the right to be known by lots of people BUT NOT IN THE BIBLICAL WAY and not without their explicit consent. This is a crime that people not named "Trump" go to jail for.

2. You have clearly learned your history of Mexico & United States from the movie "The Three Amigos". There are several actual books on the subject (made of real paper) that I can recommend.

3. All the wealth in the world will not bring you joy. Profiting at the expense of people much less fortunate than you will kill you inside. Compassion and generosity are at the heart of happiness.

4. Manipulating our laws to generate profit for yourself, both legally and illegally, is not the same thing as being a good businessman.

5. If you hire people to do a job you need to pay them for the work that they did for you. That's the way the exchange of goods and services works in our legal system. An intro to economics course might be helpful, I suspect your future White House chief of staff would be able to arrange that.

6. Someone's ethnicity is not an indicator of whether they will be good or bad at their profession. 

7. Bullying and domination are not the same as leadership. Also, hurling insults can turn into hurling missiles all too easily.

8. Winning is not the most important thing in life. Life is not a game of Monopoly, and also monopoly is a really dumb game and I have always enjoyed playing it.

9. You are confused about the basic medical science in the abortion procedure. PLEASE take the time to understand what that actually involves.

10. But you did get one thing right! The system is rigged. And it is rigged in your favor, as a rich, gentile, straight, able bodied, white man.

These are just a few thoughts off the top of my head, I'd be happy to share a much longer list with you.

See you in the streets!


PS I love nasty women.

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